Couples increase familiarity towards their partner especially for those who have been together for a long time like married couples. Unfortunately, this affects their sexual desire for one another. Even though you started with a red-hot sex life, it doesn’t mean it would not change over time.
However, Gurit Birnbaum, lead author of a new research called “Intimately Connected: The Importance of Partner Responsiveness for Experiencing Sexual Desire” from Israel said in a press release, “Our research shows that partners who are responsive to each other outside the bedroom are able to maintain their sexual desire.” Birnbaum is a psychology professor at the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya, Israel. She and her coauthors found that “women’s desire is more strongly affected by their partner’s responsiveness than men’s desire ― although men report a boost, as well.”
The press release said, “Responsive partners are willing to invest resources in the relationship, and show understanding at a deep level. … They make the relationship feel special ― that their relationship is unique ― which is, at least in Western societies, what people seek from their romantic relationships.” So basically, showing a deep level of understanding or responsiveness is important because it signals real concern for your partner and being cared about is indeed a turn on.
One of the 3 experiments included in the study had 100 couples who kept a diary in which they reported on their own level of sexual desire every day for six weeks including own levels of feeling special their perceptions of the responsiveness of their partner and their partner’s mate value.
The result uncovered that men and women feel special and think their partner is a valuable mate when they perceive responsiveness from their partners. And ultimately, this boosted sexual desirability. Birnbaum said, “Sexual desire thrives on increasing intimacy and being responsive is one of the best ways to instill this elusive sensation over time; better than any pyrotechnic sex.”
For the longest time, people seek intimacy and familiarity in relationships but now it seems to be hurting their sex life. But the research cannot conclusively determine yet whether intimacy promotes or decreases sexual desire nevertheless being responsive will most likely encourage it. Would you agree with the findings? Do you have a secret to maintaining a hot sex life inside or outside the bedroom?