Autoblow A.I.’s New Option For Tesla Autopilot Users: Automoblow

World’s First Pleasure Device For Self Driving Cars Provides Titillating New Option

A photo of the Automoblow inventor sitting in his car with the device attached.(Seattle, WA) July 11th, 2020 – Male Tesla owners will soon face a new option after engaging Autopilot: whether or not to pleasure themselves.

The Automoblow is a mount that allows Tesla owners to connect the Autoblow A.I. to any Tesla model’s cup holder so that it may be used while self-driving. The Automoblow is vertically and horizontally adjustable to accommodate all body types and rotates 180 degrees so that it may be also used by the front seat passenger. This short commercial shows the Automoblow in action.

Although self-driving cars are relatively new, the technology will soon be ubiquitous and drivers will have to decide how to spend time previously used controlling cars between destinations. With the launch of the Automoblow, people will, for the first time, have the option to masturbate on the way to important meetings and prior to or after stressful events such as dental appointments and funerals. Long road trips will no longer be monotonous.

“I know some people will tell me that this invention is unnecessary,” Automoblow inventor Brian Sloan said. “But I believe those same people, had they been born earlier, would have been late adopters of electricity and the automobile.

“Artificial intelligence, as it is used in self driving cars and even in our male sex toy, frees humans from mundane tasks and allows us to spend our time in more productive ways or in leisure. As self-gratification is a popular leisure activity and controlling a car is not particularly enjoyable, it is self-evident that many men will choose to buy an Automoblow.”

About Automoblow inventor Brian Sloan

Sex toy inventor Brian Sloan graduated from law school in 2005 but decided he had a greater potential helping people masturbate than he did helping them with their legal problems He has been profiled in Playboy magazine and on hundreds of news websites including ViceTechcrunchEngadgetBusiness Insider, and others. His latest invention, the Autoblow A.I., is the first sex toy that harnesses the power of artificial intelligence to act more like a human and less like a machine.